Regretness

I have been working in this college for 6 months.
Everybody says that i have a good job and will have a good life in the future...
I have never feel it that way and i only realize that i'm having my career when Kala told me so... it's funny... some friends said that i often take things for granted without realizing that i actually have everything that others don't have and they dream for...
i do not know what's exactly is the thing that i want in my life so far and have been thinking about to change my profession for all these while...
until, i got to talk with two of my female students this morning. we had never feel enough of what we have and never will grateful of what we have, keep wanting something that we don't really have or searching something in life as we never have the sense of completeness...
is there a sense of completeness after all?
i told them to grab the chance that they have now and do the best and live the life now to the fullest... while i'm doing and seeing think totaly different from what i had just said to them.
sometimes i wonder how could i actually advise others while i'm not doing what i advised them to... life is just a sacrastic event...
i would have to learn to be grateful, i guess? but at the same time, will i same day left behind all that i wanted so much?
what is destinied for me?
to teach? to touch a life?
i just can't see anything by now...
by the way, my sister is pregnant, i guess?
the ex-boyfriend is being after by the police now...
things that happened in which we thought is bad is not always that bad, i guess?
deep in the bottom of my heart, i regretted so much that i have not helping out Brenna and Chi enough to get out from the place when they asked me to...
i have never felt so bad in my life... never...