Liar

June 1, 2006
We have just come back from Pantai Klebang and Pantai Kundur. HC fell in love with XXXX and last night he gave back the cigarette that she gave him last week, in which they promised that would be the very last pack that he is going to have before he stops smoking. Both of them asked her to go back and told her things that made she hearts break. Then, both of them didn’t come to school and HC was in a bad mood and went out the whole afternoon.
Two days ago, 29 May 2006, I met Eric at Lech Avenue’s Night Market and I asked him to come for tuition. He said he will sms me to tell me how was it later. I asked him not to hurt me anymore and my heart trembling everyday once the clock struck 5p.m and the waiting made me sick. HC told me that he was happy to see me at first and when I spoke all these things to him, he looked down and I was unhappy as well, as wondering if he will come later.
I waited and waited, still he never turn up and didn’t sms me. So, I called. The calls failed as the guys in the phone said that his antenna is broken. I do not know how true is it, feel strange why did he didn’t take his handset along. Fais told me that he went to Melacca with his dad, so I called his dad. When his dad said he is at home and is not with him, my heart broke. HE LIED TO ME! I can’t stop crying and for the very first time after 5 years I smoked again. I broke the promised with Kent… because of a 17 year-old guy. He really made me worry… I hate him!
I sent him a message and told him that if it was his last answer from him, then I think I understand his meaning. I didn’t receive any sms from him until 4a.m. I saw his sms and said that he is sorry… as below…
‘cikgu mrh kt sy…?sy mintk maaf byk2 ye…sy bkn ape…sy rase serabut la kepale ni.sory ye…selamat malam.sy rase diri ini btl2 bersalah.’(2006-05-31, 01:18:27) and after half and hour he sms again
He didn’t come to school the next day and I sms and called him, yet he didn’t pick up the phone. I asked HC fetched me to his house and I talked to his mother, while waiting him to wake up. He was surprised to see me. We talked in a room up stair and I can’t stand any more, as I talked to him, my tears ran down. He felt sorry and he said that his friends cam out from hospital and he smoked more than 3 cigarettes last night. I told him I smoked 3 also and he was speechless. I advised him to come for the tuition and he said he is ashamed as I stayed because of him. I told him nothing to ashamed about and the only thing to pay back is by studying hard and come to my tuition. He invited me if I want to join a camp organized by his church and he even said that we can play badminton sometime. I’m glad to hear these things from him, at least he invited me for something.
He is still a child, he hugged a pillow and watched television. My God! He is funny…
He said he wants to try on contact lenses and brought me to buy a pack of ‘aqua baby’ cost RM50. He brought me to Mustika’s house and they came on 5p.m and done their Pendidikan Seni’s work. Both of us helped them.
I showed him Kent’s photo and he said only look a bit similar, but others said they looked alike. I invited him to lepak together, but he rejected as he sms later to tell me that he choose to go with his friends. I said I’m okay with that as it was his choice.
This morning, we had tuition in school and we went into English class to help Mr, Annuar. He looked at me some times and doing his work diligently at first and later started his naughty action in class. After the tuition, I waited for him and heard he yelled in the toilet. I was disappointed and when I asked him if he will come for the tuition, he said he will need to look first. I was so sad that I sat at the chair and Iqah came, when she got to know that I was upset because of Eric, she called him up and scolded him. When I went in their class, he doesn’t dare to even look at me and keep quite for quiet a long time until he was called to the Bilik Kaunseling, because he didn’t bring his work. I went there thrice to see him and Pn. Noraida said that we are good to our students, as all the practical teachers will normally go away right after they finished their practical, but not us. I told her that Eric is my favourite student, who upset me most of the time. He does not dare to look at me.
I called him after school and again he told me that he has many works to do and he asked me if I’m angry. I advised him not to drink when go to Arnold’s house who celebrates Hari Gawai.
Went to night market and I met his mother. Then, I went to his house, stood outside and talked to him as the gate was locked from inside and he does not has the key with him. He asked me if Santa Claus really exist. We talked a lot and he looked happy today and he promised to come for tuition if he does not go to Arnold’s house.
But, at last he went to Arnold’s house. It is fine for me, as long as he didn’t drunk.
Tomorrow would be the very last day for tuition at school; I just wonder if we didn’t meet often after this, will he still come for tuition? I’m really afraid of waiting now.
He told me others thought that we are coupling now and they even mentioned about swimming pool and camping. I wonder what else did they know about us and what did Eric told them…
These two days, I have small quarrels with Kent about Eric, it is all about jealousy. I’m now wearing his earring on my nose…